So, welcome.
In welcoming, we welcome everything.
It’s an unconditional welcoming.

During this meditation, you can be in this welcoming space
by simply relaxing
into being,
relaxing into this effortless
listening,
allowing your experience
to be what it is.

Sensing, hearing, noticing how you are held.
Your body is held, supported
by the earth.
We are deeply rooted in the earth.
Without any effort, we are held.
There is a balance.

So you can sink into that.

There is no effort
that is required
for you to simply be
with that past,
that future,
simply in this
moment,
whichever way
it’s appearing to you.

The sensations in your body:
your shoulders,
your back,
your belly.

You don’t need the mind right now.
You don’t need much thinking.

So there is this silence,
which is this transparent presence.
And this presence is silent and aware by its very nature.
It is free of any limitations and effortlessly aware.

And this effortless awareness
is your true nature.

So allow yourself to soak
in this peace.
There is nothing you need to hold on to,
nothing that you need to grasp
or walk away with.

Because in this moment there is no time.
Simply in the shining light of awareness,
inviting you
to rest as that.

These opportunities that we have to meet together,
to release and relax into being,
to let go of the mind,
to take a break
from this ongoing mental activity
which is infected with the belief
that I am somebody.

This obsessive, hypnotic trance,
this me thought,
this me belief,
is constantly trying to reaffirm itself,
justify itself,
affirm itself—
this separate me,
the storyline which we are addicted to.

But in this moment,
there is a break in the storyline.

What is revealed is this effortless,
transparent presence
that is not identified
with a personal storyline.

So in this moment,
the question of what am I truly?
When you go to your direct experience right now,
without going into the past or the future,
without going into your mind,
this question takes you out of the identification,
out of this limited identity,
to the vastness of awareness, presence.

At the same time, the body is breathing,
the heart is beating,
the ground is supporting our body.

But awareness,
your direct experience right now,
does not need any support.
Does not need gravity.
Does not need the blood flow.
It is sufficient unto itself.

You suffer
whenever you choose
to be a limited entity,
whenever you choose to identify yourself,
whenever you choose to contract
and believe yourself to be this contraction.
Then you experience a sense of separation
and worries and concerns
about the future:
What is going to happen to me?

You overlook your reality.
That although all sorts of things happen to the body-mind,
nothing is happening to you.

There is an I, but this I is the divine self, the universal self.
It refers to itself as I
and it knows itself
as this aware,
shining light of awareness,
this aware, borderless presence.

It is our experience right now.
This is a real reality.
It’s our direct experience right now.
It is not subject
to any conditions.
It does not suffer.

You can let go.

The path is a gentle path
of relaxation, deep relaxation
into the heart of experience,
a complete surrender.

And that which cannot be surrendered
remains.

There is that
which is eternal
at the heart
of your experience.

I am, meaning being or presence is, but I do not know what I am.
Meaning: being, presence is,
not defined phenomenally,
not defined via any form,
any particular body,
or any particular mind.

So what do you mean by not knowing?
A flow in your life.

When you are not knowing,
the flow is harmonious,
not knowing of what you are,
not identified
with the me story,
the mind, personal mind story.

Thank you.

So, if we can open our eyes and come back together here
for the remaining of this meeting,
you’re welcome to share whatever questions you have,
whatever you want to look into.

Hi Paul, if you don’t mind turning on your videos as well.

Can you give a verbal indication of what God is?

Yes.

God is the space between the verbal,
between the words.
And God is the words.
God is the formless, the unmanifest, as well as the manifest.
The one and only being—beingness itself is God.
And this God, the term God, is an aware beingness.

So in the Indian scripture, it’s Sat-Chit-Ananda.
Nama Rupa.
So it’s an aware presence.

And this aware presence is creative.
It creates out of itself, to itself, from itself, as itself.
Because there is only it.
There is no other but it.

And this it, we experience it as I.

Unfortunately, there is a virus in the human experience that has reduced I, that has reduced God to a certain image.

So although I refers to the one and only, in the human psyche it is experienced as a personal I, as a limited personal I, which is identified with certain experiences and non-identified with others.

For example, we say: I am this body, but I am not the mountain.

So there is an identification with certain forms and a non-identification with other forms.

That is not God.
That is a virus in the human psyche.

Now the mind wants to have a definition of God that it can own, that you can say: Okay, I—personal mind, personal self—I understand now what God is.

That’s part of the virus.
The belief that there is an actual personal knower, a personal self.

So we have to become wise.
Wisdom is very important to detect, to discriminate between the falsehood of the infected mind and the reality of being.

So God is being itself, beingness.
Yes, being—the one and only being, beingness itself—is an aware beingness.

So in your experience, there is being, the I am.
Not “I am Paul.”
Before adding Paul, it’s the pure I am.

This I am knows.
It’s aware that it is.

So there is being, beingness—I am.
And I know that I am.
That’s the awareness.
They’re both one.
Sat-Chit are one.
Beingness and awareness, beingness and knowingness.

So God veils itself from itself by identifying itself as Paul, by separating out of its experience a certain form, a certain object that it identifies with.
Which is the me.
That is the veil.

You have to sort of descend from the mind, from the thinking mind, into being, into the heart, into presence, experientially.
Can you do that?
Can you let go of your cherished mind, your identity, your personhood, your sense of personal self, and allow God to be your…

Hello Carrie, did you have a question?

Hello, dear Maggy. Hello, everyone.
I have a question, Maggy, about what is before the beingness.

I humbly ask: When I did experience Samadhi, especially beginning June of 2024, and it was just deep rest, no identification of all the personal tribulations or personal entanglements with the world—is that state of Samadhi, where it all drops, where there is just true silence within silence, that deep rest—is that considered before the I am?

Is that the no-self where there can be a suspended out of time and space?

And in my daily life, being able to incorporate no identification, just being in that loosened state, practicing if there is a sensation of fear or worry, there’s a training with this that’s happening phenomenally, where there’s a deep pause to learn how to not contract with that, as you have described the virus of the mind, to try to stay very expansive.

So in terms of the before I am, it depends on what is your understanding about I am.

If the I am that you’re referring to is being, being as the capital I, God’s self, the it—the I am, the it is—there is no before, no after.
It is not in time.
So there is no before the real I am.

But in terms of the experience, the I am of I am, which is an experience—the true experience of the I am is not in time.
But the mind registers it, and we return, as a way of speaking, from the true I am, which is not in time, to the mind.

We return to the mind, the personal self, which registers an experience that is not registrable.
The mind therefore creates a caricature of an experience which it has no access to.

But it senses there’s something that’s shifted, something that’s happened.
It’s like the ripples.
There are ripples.
There is an event where the stone was thrown in the water, and the water has no experience of the stone.
But there is an experience of the ripples.

So there are ripples in the mind.

One of the challenges that is coming up, this unit of consciousness that I identify with as Carrie—that taste of Samadhi, it just pulls my heart back to that.
That is the truest reality.
And so it’s becoming more and more where the identification of Carrie is continually being dismantled, out of my control, circumstantially, to be pulled back into that silence.

At first it was very intimidating, but now it’s like I have asked—the mind asked—this must be the true reality, this silence, this silent state that has no subject-object dance.

Yes, but be careful not to identify with the silence.
Be careful not to develop any attachment to that.

The silence is there in the midst.
In the midst of life, in the midst of activity.
It is not separate from the chaos of the world.
It’s not separate from manifestation.

So it’s like musical notes, a symphony.
It’s nothing else but the vibrational field of air in a flute.

So there is the air, there is that which is—let’s say as a metaphor—the formless aspect, the Samadhi, the beingness, the pure beingness.

That is also musical notes.
That is also life, joys, beauty, challenges.

Once you have a glimpse of divinity, and this glimpse of divinity really captures your attention, you have no choice but to love truth.
You love that divinity because it’s the only non-experience that we have—the experience of God is a non-experience.
It’s that which is beyond any conditions, which is beyond any complete freedom, beyond any limitations.

So your heart is won over by that.

And one of the traps is that the mind addicts itself to that.
I’m not saying this is something happening in your case, but I’m just saying that it is important to then, as you mentioned before, meet your life, meet the challenges of your life with grace, with flow.
Allow God to steer the ship.

And you are in a place of awe, discovery, and contemplation as well.
Where you are seeing or noticing, or at least you’re interested in noticing, where identification comes back, where the Carrie character comes back when it’s not needed.

Oftentimes the Carrie character is needed for work, for shopping, for taking care of the body.
But noticing when the Carrie character appears where it’s not needed.
Most often it’s not needed.

So allow your experience to be what it is, being watchful, not to separate yourself in any way from the totality.

To be the all, all of it, all of life with all its ups and downs.

When you are all of it, you’re not the personal self.
You are all of it.

Nothing special and everything special.
The ordinary and the extraordinary meet each other.

Relax your mind, relax your body.
Hold on to nothing.
Be fresh, new every moment, completely unknowing.

Not knowing what you are—sort of a blank every page, every moment.

There’s no need to dwell too much in the past or the future.
Once you have a glimpse of the now, the eternity of being, in a way, God’s invitation has already been accepted and received.

You don’t need to translate God’s invitation in a different language.
Don’t translate it.
Let it be, whatever it is.

Notice how the mind wants to create a narrative.
The mind creates a narrative out of the past, out of conditioning.
But it cannot, it has no access to that which is not in time.

Allow your body-mind to expand beyond your body, beyond your mind, into the totality, the entire realm, the cosmic realm, the infinite realm of being.

No borders.
Go beyond your skin.
Be the world that you are.

It’s a playful realm.
But the play of this human realm is not about the human realm.
It’s about the source, the still point, perfect and special.

I honor your guidance and wisdom.

Thank you.

Any questions?

Hey Paul, so if the ocean is God, if we’re like a wave in the ocean—yeah, in the metaphor of the ocean and the wave, the wave is not separate from the ocean.
The ocean is not separate from the wave.

So in the metaphor, yes, the wave is God, the ocean is God, and the wave is God.

We are not a wave separate from the ocean.
We are the ocean waving.

It is the ocean that is playing the game of: Oh, I am a wave.
Inviting itself to realize: Oh no, I am the ocean waving.

The ocean likes to play.
It likes to wave.
Small waves, big waves, I don’t know, waves with a lot of foam, surfing waves, gentle waves, no waves.

There is only one reality.
The metaphor of the ocean—that reality is the ocean, or that reality is water.
Yeah, there are waves, but it’s this one reality that’s creative.

Sunsets, sunrise, the sound of the crows, the wind, the heartbeat, thoughts—it’s all the ocean waving.

Any questions?

Hi, Magdy. This is John.

Hi, John.

My question is about this word that I’ve heard, oscillating back and forth.
It’s usually used with awareness.
Even though awareness doesn’t go back and forth, the idea is, and it applies to me in my life, and I’m sure everyone, but the idea is: well, I would like to ask you to maybe give an experience of that, or an example of oscillating back and forth between awareness and the practical.

Because a lot of times people say: Okay, you know, there’s awareness and then there’s practicality.

I would like to just see an example of oscillating back and forth.

A very good example is when you get angry.
You’re angry, or when you are jealous.

Or when you feel like: Oh, I don’t have enough.

So the oscillation is between being, presence—meaning all is well—to all is not well.
Look what the world is doing to me.
Or why is this person doing this?
Or getting that and I’m not?

The oscillation is between being, which is—I think Serpansky talked about the adult to the wounded child.
To: Oh my God, why are they doing this to me?
How come they don’t love me?
I’m a good guy, they should love me, and they don’t.

She should act this way and she’s not.
He should behave towards me this way, and he’s not.
The world should behave towards me in a certain way, and it’s not.

So when you are scanning, when you’re paying attention to your life and your experience, whenever you notice that there is a contraction within your body-mind—anger, envy, hatred, jealousy—then you can be assured that you’re oscillating.

In other words, you’re reverting to the child.
You’re reverting to the personal self that needs, that is needy, that is lacking, that is regret, that is not at peace.

So the examples in your life: whenever you are not at peace, you are oscillating.
Meaning you want things to be different.

Yeah, it wasn’t exactly what I was asking, but that’s okay.
Because that is noticed, and the idea is that if one wants to practice noticing that, it’s to consciously notice that that’s going on, and it’s unpeaceful, and so forth.

But what I was trying to say is the idea: okay, I’ll give an example.
I’m writing a book.
My attention is on that book.
It’s not going.
I am aware.
And let’s say, yeah, you know what I’m saying, right?

Even though somebody who’s progressed a lot doesn’t have to do this.
But this idea of doing the how is it?
And some people say you just every few minutes realize that you’re aware, you know.

Let me see if I understood your question now.
Okay, so once we realize: Oh, you know, I am this aware presence, I am not somebody, we don’t need to stay with that.
I’m the aware presence, I’m the aware presence, I’m the aware presence.

Attention, the mind, focuses on various activities during the day.
I need to take a car wash, I need to do some shopping, I need to fix something.

And so attention doesn’t need to remain: Oh, I shouldn’t go shopping.
I need to remind myself I am this presence, I am this transparent presence.

No.

Now you know that you are not oscillating when the activities in the world are not disturbing you.
Not that you’re still reminding yourself: I’m present, I’m present.

No, there’s just no disturbance in the flow, and you know it.

You are oscillating when events in the world are disturbing you.

For example, I’m going shopping and I’m really upset because I need to remind myself that I’m awareness, I’m awareness.
And how can I do that if I have to go shopping?
So I’m like, I’m sort of troubled.

No.

So the indicator of non-oscillation is harmony in your life.
I mean, 99.99% harmony.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I’m understanding. That’s a good way of, you know, I think yeah, because what I was speaking about, but what you’re saying is actually triggering, you know, the mind is used a lot for this, for not until it’s not needed as much, you know, except for the practical things and asking questions.

But what it also sounds like in the word harmony is just it includes everything.

But it’s the idea that I can be writing the book and be awareness, and I don’t have to say I’m awareness, I don’t have to try to find it, I don’t have to do that.

In the beginning, maybe some people say that as a practice, just to keep remembering that it’s always there.
Just look every few minutes, every half an hour, whenever you can.

This entire journey is not about realizing: I am awareness.
This entire journey is about peace and happiness.

And peace and happiness is not possible when there is identification.
Moments of peace, moments of tranquility.

But overall, when there is identification, there is anger, there is jealousy, there is sense of lack, etc.

So don’t make I am awareness to be the end goal.

No, that’s just a glimpse into truth, into God.

The end goal is harmony, peace, and happiness in your life.

Yeah, that’s what I was going to add to it: when one can be and do their work or practical things, and it actually has joy and peace and love and all that kind of stuff, that’s the harmony.

It’s all in harmony.

And so it’s good, you know.

And I like what you said also about kind of like some people say the goal or something like that, and there is no goal, and all that kind of stuff.

Because, you know, we are already awareness and all that.

And so the idea of finding—I think, maybe what you also are saying—is finding that there’s a me alive, there’s the virus alive, and just recognizing it.

And I don’t have to beat it up or anything like that, but just recognizing that I’m not in harmony.

Does that make some sense?

The spoiler of the party.

Yeah, exactly.

I am, or I am not that, you are that.
So they go hand in hand.

Yeah.

The awakening process, the entire spiritual journey of inquiry and awakening has an aspect to it: it is life.
Life.

And that’s where the true test is: life.

So as you are progressing on your path in your understanding and your lived experience, then the journey expands in your life.
It becomes more and more expansive, joyful, peaceful, harmonious.

And I’m not talking about jumping up and down.
It’s an internal tranquility and peace and non-disturbance.

So you cannot have that—the experience of true peace, the true silence, the true stillness—without the awakening experience, without the understanding.

So I don’t need this is kind of a joke.
I don’t need to have all I need is harmony, you know?
I’m just being, talking about you know, trying to meet these goals and trying to get to be awareness and trying to be something other than what I already am.

You already are.

It is this, already is, which is trying to debunk the belief that I am somebody, a limited entity.

It’s a party pooper.

You know, that’s—I’m well acquainted with him.
We all are in our own way.

Okay.

Thank you so much, Andy.

Good to see you, Charles.
I hope your cough gets better soon.

Yeah.

Any questions?

Hey Paul, I was just wondering if it might be possible to email you.

Yeah, so my email, let me put it in the chat.
It’s in the chat.

Well, it’s very lovely to be with all of you.
Nice to see you.

Goli, haven’t seen you in quite a while.
Lovely to see you.

Yeah, it’s a beautiful meeting of friends.
It’s a heart meeting.

So much beauty, so much love.

Yeah, really, that’s true healing, you know?

The true healing is this connection around truth, around our true self, our true nature.

Really, really beautiful.

So thank you all, and wish you a happy Sunday.

We’ll see each other soon.

Thank you.