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2024
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Dealing with existential fear


Magdi Badawy, 08-11-2024

Welcome, everybody.

Lovely to be with you.

So just for the duration of this meeting,
let us leave the past behind.
Meaning, not to engage.

To remain still,
relaxed,
and available,
alert.

It’s sort of a
not doing,
not doing anything.

And somehow
presence noticing itself,
meaning
simply noticing that you’re aware.

Aware of the breathing.
Aware that you’re aware.
Letting things be.

As if you’re sitting on the shore of a stream.
Listening to the birds.
Listening to the stream.

And the stream is you.

Because when you’re not using memory
or you’re not using the past,
there is nothing which is not you.

There is a stillness to presence.

When the activity of thinking
is an appearance within presence.

Like the sound of the stream
or the bubbles of water
when the stream is gushing.

They are simply
a manifestation of the stream.
There is nothing happening
to the stream.

When thoughts appear to you,
there is nothing happening to you.

Just a sensation.
There are no issues.

And then there is
the I thought,
the habitual I thought,
which comes hand in hand
with the me feeling,
the sense of limitation.

Contractions within the body.
And the I thought stirs the mind,
generates more I thoughts.

Am I doing?
What is gonna happen to me?
Will I ever get there?

The I thought arises out of belief,
an old belief
that you,
meaning consciousness,
awareness,
exists in time and space.

That you are born,
that you are a body entity.
You are born and bound to die.

The ending of me,
the ending of my world.
The ending of my life.
The ending of my relationships.

And there is fear.
The sensation grabs you
in the belly.

But this fear is not so much about
the ending of your relationships
or the ending of your world
or the ending of your mind.
It is about the ending of you. \

This existential fear,
which is in the background
and often time in the foreground.

The disappearance of consciousness,
which requires the belief that
consciousness can appear and disappear.

Because we know
the body appears and disappears.
The 12 year old body is different
from the 50 year old body.

The body dissolves more or less in deep sleep.

When we know in our experience
there is more to it
than the body, the world, the mind,
because there is awareness.

Intuitively we know
that there is something
much more majestic,
more significant,
which is consciousness.

And we believe that
this consciousness is
dependent on the body;
something happens to it
when the body dies.

This fear,
this existential fear,
permeates our entire life
up to the death of the body.

Until and except
when we come to the understanding
about consciousness;
the glimpse into reality.

An understanding about reality,
about the world,
about the universe,
about you.

That you are not limited
by that which you perceive,
which is constantly
appearing and disappearing,
but simply a teeny tiny peak into the infinite.

The understanding that your mind
is a minute expression,
a minute manifestation of the absolute.

The understanding that you are limitless.
That reality is limitless.

Wholeness, and
infinitely creative.

And besides its creation
in its very nature,
it is beyond any description.

The understanding
that as long as you rely
solely on the body mind
you are deprived
from this understanding.

Because the body mind
is simply a teeny reflection
of the vastness.

This existential fear always
refers to you as a mortal entity,
to you as
a man,
a woman,
a person.

But you are not that.

You are this invisible,
aware presence,
which right now
hears these words,
which knows it is
and knows that it is
formless,
boundless,
invisible to the senses,
and yet undeniable.

The reality of being.

So come closer to the edge,
and fall into God’s arms.

Because they are always extended.
You is this vastness,
having a temporary human dream.
It’s not a big deal.

Well, if you have any questions,
make sure you unmute yourself.

I have a couple of questions
that were sent to me which I will address.
But first, any questions?

Photo by Eduardo Mallmann on Unsplash


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