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2024
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Freedom from addiction


Magdi Badawy, 07-28-2024

Hello, everyone.
Lovely to see you.

So let’s welcome this fresh moment,
relaxing our habitual tendencies,
whatever they are.

Letting go of the past,
letting go of the future,
sort of being open to not knowing,
being open to being,
which is this silent presence,
this formless awareness,
borderless awareness.

Stilled.
And somehow alive.

Everything appears
within this awareness.
The breath,
sensations within the body.
An open field,
an open space,
that embraces everything.
At zero distance.

So allow yourself to sink
into this peace.

Awareness is always aware.
You know that you are,
that there is something
rather than nothing.

Takes on the form of
hearing right now.
Takes on the form of
the warmth of the body.
While remaining formless.

Your primary experience
is that of awareness, being.

Not being somebody,
but pure, effortless being.
The only reality,
which is love, freedom, and beauty.

Because everything is yourself.
Everyone is yourself.

When the mind is quiet and still
and you are resting,
knowing yourself
as awareness, consciousness.
There is peace and fullness.
No questions,
everything is answered.

The answer is this silence,
which is love.

This effortless presence,
which is love.

Nothing is excluded.

But when you refer to yourself via the past,
you refer to yourself as somebody,
and immediately
unhappiness is on board.

The root cause of unhappiness
is that belief,
the identification with the past,
the identification with the body mind,
the history.

The ‘me’ belief and feeling,
the separate self.
Belief and feeling.

We don’t enjoy this unhappiness.
We seek freedom and peace.
And not knowing
or overlooking
that the freedom and the peace
is our true nature, we seek it out there.

We seek it in relationship,
in objects,
in states,
in various phenomenal experiences.

Accumulation of medals, things.
We seek praise and recognition.

The primary addiction
is the addiction to the belief
that I am somebody,
but the alternative
from the perspective of the mind
is unbearable to be nobody.

It is unbearable, fearful.
And as a result,
we grasp onto things.
We grasp onto whatever it is
that can maintain the sense of me.

When we are seeking experiences
in order to maintain the sense of me.
Trying to feel the emptiness,
trying to find happiness in something.

This process is addictive,
is an addiction.
Addiction to experiences,
to sensations,
to pleasures.

Or addiction to stories.
We often repeat stories.
We repeat the past.
We repeat various narratives about me,
about him or her,
about our tribe.

Only to maintain
a phenomenal aspect to ourself,
something that we can bite our teeth in,
something that we can display or own,
or identify with.

Because from the perspective
of the discursive mind,
silence is unbearable,
stillness is unbearable.

So we grasp on to something.
One could even refer to this endless seeking,
as an addiction as well.

The form of attachment to
enlightenment in the future,
or projecting that maybe one day
I will be like him or like her?

Very subtle forms of personal identification,
maintaining the me story.

But what is it to be without any story,
without the past,
without any narrative?

Not thinking about it,
but the actuality of it.

This openness,
this freedom.

It is said that being nobody,
you are everybody,
being nothing,
you are everything.

Do we understand that?
What is it to be nobody,
nobody in particular?
To be no one in particular.

But there is an addiction to the past,
to images, to sensations,
that prevents us,
seemingly prevents us
from pure being,
from letting go of this teeny tiny thing
that we still hold on to.

What is that?
To find out in your own life,
in your own experience.

What is it that you’re still holding on to?
In this moment,
always in this moment,
what are you holding on to?
What for?
For whom?
For what purpose?
What design?

The mind can be very convincing,
but it doesn’t deliver the goods.
It’s always promising something
in the future.
Isn’t it?

Future promises are pie in the sky.
Eye in the sky.

And yet here we are.
As what?

Here we are as particular individuals?
Or here we are as this invisible, formless awareness.
What is it?

Do we need to reach for objects,
for things to hold on to,
a promise,
a sensation,
an old pleasure,
a future accomplishment.

Is this how we want to live,
in the mind,
projecting stuff,
imagining things.

And at the core of all this,
is this me me,
this limited me,
this great me,
or poor me,
or miserable me,
or depressed me,
or Is this who we are serving,
who we are devout to,
devoted to this me character
with its accomplishments
or its failures or its BS.

Is that the juice of our life?
What about the elephant in the room?

You,
you as this…
There are no words for it,
but this Presence,
this Self knowingness,
this knowingness,
this formless non phenomenal Beingness.

And we’re addicted to our stories,
our misery,
addicted to our pain,
addicted to our sorrow.

Our persona.

What is that?
It’s always all that stuff.
Where is it right now?
What is it?

So we say yes to freedom,
yes to being,
Yes to no past.
Being not knowing,
the ocean.

I am the ocean.
Vastness,
the love,
the availability,
the effortless presence.

So we can delight in this World of Form,
while remaining formless,
to celebrate,
to enjoy,
to being grateful for the play.

Knowing that nothing is at stake.

So if you have any questions,
anything that you would like to discuss…
Please make sure you unmute yourself
and you’re welcome to raise your hand.
So any questions?

Photo by Noah Silliman on Unsplash


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