Existential fear and beyond

Magdi Badawy, 12-21-2023

Hello, everybody.
Very lovely to be with you.

in this brief time together,
you can just relax and enjoy simply being
a celebration of life,
the celebration of being,
the celebration of awareness,
the celebration of consciousness,
the celebration of this wonderful mystery,
the mystery of being.
Being without without knowing
before the mind gets on board
with all its stories and narratives.

We are,
we are this same presence,
this very loving, effortless presence.

So during this meeting, simply, welcome yourself.
Welcome your experience just as it is.

We’re not trying to achieve any state or reach any goal,
we’re not trying to fix anything or attain anything.
Because in presence,
in being together,
there are no deep differences.

There is no separation.
There isn’t, like a better me and a worse me,
a better you; none of that is relevant.

It’s completely insignificant.
Whatever we are seeking, we already are.
Peace, love, and beauty, happiness.
It is our true nature, our true self.

Thoughts appear to us
like the weather appears to us.
There is the so called external weather
and the so called internal weather.

It’s all the same Awareness, Presence,
taking on the form of this sensing, hearing, perceiving.
Nothing is at stake.
You are not what you imagine yourself to be:,
a son,
a daughter,
a mother,
a father…
all of that belongs to the body-mind.

You are not that.
We are not a limited personal entity.

You’re not separate from the totality;
the wholeness,
the mystery of being,
the freedom,
the joy of being.

Not being somebody with a history,
a past, a future…
All of that belongs to the body-mind.
Like an acorn, in time it becomes an oak tree.
That’s the acorn.

A flower blooms on the bush, on the tree.
That’s just a flower and the seed.

You are not an object in time and space,
your are the full bloom,
the full bloom of awareness,
consciousness, presence.

So invite yourself to this simple recognition
that you are this invisible presence.

No effort is needed.
It is a simple recognition.
Being recognizing itself.

And sinking deeper and deeper in that recognition,
without doing anything.

When we hold on to something
there is worry and concern about losing it.

Everything that comes to us comes to us
from the universe,
from the cosmic field,
from universal consciousness.

Every thought that appears to us
is universal thought appearing to us.

Everything that unfolds within the body
is unfolding out of the universal order.

Every sensation you perceive
appears to you out of universal realm.

You perceive,
but nothing is happening to you.

You being the formless reality
which perceives this invisible, formless reality,
which knows it is.

I know I am,
and I know that I know.

Fear arises out of a mistaken identity.

When we value the wrong thing,
when we value the body,
the mind, the world, which is
constantly morphing,
constantly changing.

When we value the impermanent,
when we identify ourself
as a mortal entity,
as a mortal body mind,
inevitably the seed of mortality
and existential fear haunts us
in the waking state,
in the dream state, and even
in the deep sleep state.

It is there:
Yes. You are a body mind,
and the clock is ticking on you.

You are going to die.

This mistaken identification,
it is nagging at you.

What will happen to me?
What am I going to become?

What is going to be my next life?
What is going to happen to my loved ones?

Mistaken identity!

Where is your 12 year old body mind right now?
Where is your 20 year old body mind right now?

That which you can be certain of
this invisible awareness, the reality of being,
which is neither 12 year old nor 20 year old.

Age belongs to the body
that does not belong to you.
You may only 2005 Toyota,
or a 2022.
You, the owner, are not defined by the vehicle
which you own and the vehicle which you manage.

Your body mind is just like a vehicle.
You don’t need to be attached to the vehicle.
You can manage it, take care of it,
do your best with it, but not to be subject to it.

Sooner or later we discard the old clunker.
You can discard it right now,
and recognize yourself,
not as a vehicle,
but as the reality of all vehicles.

Consciousness which perceives all through all I,
through all body minds.

Be open, available for that understanding.
Because it is the true understanding.

There is only one I,
one self,
one being,
and that has no name,
and no age, and no gender.

The I that refers to itself is not a form;
not a female or a male form.

So when existential fear arises,
it is pointing directly to your mistaken identification.

When fear arises,
it is telling you that you are mistaking yourself
to be a person,
to be an object,
to be a material entity,
to be a phenomenal aspect.

When fear arises to you as a sensation and as a mentation:
Oh my god,
what is going to happen to me?
What is going to happen to my children?
What is going to happen to my health, to my wealth?
What is going to be my future?

Such thoughts arise to you,
and within your body mind, there is a contraction,
which we refer to as fear, a sense of threat, existential fear.

Is it possible to see this contraction
within the body mind space as a sensation.

A sensation that we do not need to struggle with,
we don’t need to vanquish it,
to overcome it, to get rid of it.

Like a thunderstorm is passing.

Not to engage in any protective activity.
To be available,
effortlessly available.

Without an agenda,
without a goal or purpose,
without the past,
without our bag of strategies,
our toolbox of maintenance and repair…

To be childlike,
free and

Can we explore that possibility.

And we don’t need to wait
for an existential fear to arise.
Can we be childlike,
innocent and available
and open in our daily life,
in the simple activities of our day
supposed to appear to us,
conversation that we have,
events that happen throughout the day
that affect us in some way or another,
not in a big way.

To use every opportunity.
To deepen our understanding
that I am not subject to whatever appears to me.

Many events may affect your body mind,
but you, meaning, this presence,
the reality which perceives right now,
is that affected?

When will we celebrate our innate freedom,
if not now?

We do our best with the body,
with the mind, with the world.

But above all, we recognize our self.

Not as a form,
not as an entity.

But we recognize our self
as this invisible borderless presence.

Always on,
never off,
beyond time and space.

Leave a Reply